Justanotherdude

Its been a while

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on here. Graduation is coming up soon and its terrifying, but at the same time I can’t wait. Also I’ve met probably the coolest and most amazing girl ever who I really really like and for once I’m taking things slow because I don’t want to mess this up. I’ve never been happier =)

That’s basically been life lol

Hate me, I don’t give a shit

I’m fine with people hating me. Why? Because if people hate me it means that I’m taking a stand and fighting for something. Another reason, people will hate me because they are jealous of what I have, who I am, the fact that I love who I am. What do i have to say to these people? Nothing because they are not worth me speaking to. They will get my middle finger, a smile, and silence. 

Possibilities after graduation if I don’t find a good enough job: Army, NYPD, State troopers (either here, California, or Alaska), SWAT, counter-terrorism units in the police force, or FBI Yepp my life can be amazing

….Crap…

I’ve been saying I’m over this, but I’m slowly thinking that I might not be and that is freaking me out. I don’t want to be anchored down by the past, I wish I could stop having this faint small hope that things will change and we would be together again, but for some reason I can’t. This whole thing hurts so much more than any other time and I don’t know if its one of those you’ll get over it when you meet someone better, or if its one of those you won’t get over it until your together again. I’m not sure I can do that though not after all of this. This is my life, a cruel comedy for the gods to watch for entertainment. All I ask is to be happy with someone, I’m not asking to live the perfect life, as long as I’m with the person who gives me true happiness and loves me I will be satisfied, but as the days go by I’m slowly beginning to think that will never happen

bottled up

So I know I never really go on here and that no one really follows me on this, so I guess I’ll just be talking to myself on here, but there’s so much that’s been going on and I’m getting better. I’ve pulled through the thick of everything and I know I sound and look stupid getting so messed up over someone I was only with for a month. Its just that we connected amazingly I honestly felt like I found my other half. She would always tell me how great we would be together that we were perfect. We’d talk about how we honestly believed we would be together for a long time, if a month is a long time then I’m screwed for the rest of my life. Yes I said the same things to her, but then out of no where things start getting awkward and I know somethings wrong I know that this was going to come to an end, but I blinded myself to it, I didn’t want to believe she was going to be like all the rest. She tells me she needs to figure out her life and that she doesn’t want a relationship. I ate that up like a person who’s been hungry for days. Turns out it was basically all a lie. Few days later she says how badly she wants a boyfriend. You had a boyfriend and a pretty damn good one, so stop complaining about how you don’t have a boyfriend and how you hate being single. How do you think I feel?! Apparently I’m annoying, I didn’t know texting someone good morning was annoying or in the middle of the day asking how their day is going was annoying. I wasn’t aware that telling your girlfriend that she’s beautiful was fucking annoying, but apparently it is. But meanwhile she’s going to complain about the single life. Honestly she’s a bitch. Why do I always end up dating the same kinds of people who do the same thing and I always get hurt? I have no idea, but I’m changing that. I got played. She told me all of this shit and basically didn’t mean any of it. I was an idiot, but I’ve learned. I am done with girls who act like this. I’m not giving myself at all to any girl unless I know shes worth it, unless I’m mostly sure she won’t break me into pieces. I can’t not take risks though, because I won’t be living if I don’t risk myself with these things, but from now on I’m no longer rushing into things. The one thing I have to thank her for, the one thing she was actually good for was teaching me that valuable lesson and the fact that I can’t trust anyone or believe what they say. 

Once again no one follows me really so no one will actually read this and actually care. One thing I do know is there are people who would read this and send it to their friends and laugh and talk shit about me. How do I know this? Because it happens all the time. These are the shitty friends I have had. I’m cutting people out of my life I have my 10 really close friends and they are the only people who matter. You want me in your life you’ll find room for me, if not hey I don’t give a shit I’m better off without you. I’m becoming a new person and I’m going to be honest as all hell from now on. Don’t like me tell me, don’t fucking lie to me about it. 

Screwed

When it comes to the process of starting dating and actually dating I am completely clueless and hopeless. I never know what exactly to do, or if I should see if the girl is gonna text/call me. Then when I’m finally around her I have no idea what to say or do, so in attempts to not look like an idiot I look like an idiot. I also tend to fuck up in this area, and when I say always I mean always. It’s been a while and I really want this to work out, but I’m so petrified of it failing that I’m unable to act. This is the story of my life. 



Also should I cook for her or take her out to dinner? 

Your crush walks in the room,

me5mow9:

Your friend instantly turns to you and is like


And you’re just like,

(Source: insomniacfreefall, via sassysarsaparilla)

Reblog if you can’t wait for summer 2011.

nightmareanatomy-:

Summer come now please!!! Party all every day all day!

(Source: dailydoseofglam, via sassysarsaparilla)